The Ugliest Quilt in the World

Several months ago, I made a quilt out of Tula Pink's Saltwater collection as a sample for the shop.  One of our more colorful characters informed us that is was "the ugliest quilt she has ever seen in her life."

Pictured: The Ugliest Quilt in the World

Frankly, I am pretty fond of the quilt..I mean...there are cephalopods (which I say just because I don't know what the actual correct plural form of Octopus is) on it.  But besides that, it really isn't an aesthetically offensive quilt, unless blues and turquoises aren't your thing.  But after that, I had an idea. What if I tried to make the ugliest quilt in the world?  How would one go about that, making an intentionally ugly quilt? That's kind of subjective, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz, right? Challenge accepted. 

So it occurred to me...all those extra blocks from projects past, all those strips and segments from cutting said blocks, and all those practice blocks that just didn't work out were just sitting in a bag, all sad and lonely.  What if they all got mashed together?  I organized the pieces by colorway: brights, holiday and muted.  With all that, I had enough for three very ugly quilts.  So I set off on making a very bright and garish quilt.  I took my finished blocks and added pieces parts to then until the finished square measured 12.5" square. 

Let me just say, this is probably the most fun I have ever had making a quilt, EVER.  It felt so good to not have to fuss with color placement very much, or what looks good and what doesn't.  It gave me the freedom to just put things together that on an ordinary quilt, I never would have.  Plus, using leftover blocks, you learn real quick what color phases you've gone through over the years. (News Flash: I like orange and bright pink...shocking to no one.) 

And even though it was intended to be ugly and horrible...I really love how it turned out.  To everyone else, this may really be a loud, so-ugly-it-might-be-seizure-inducing quilt, but I am so happy with how it turned out. 

Say hello to the ugliest quilt in the world: 

A funny side note about the dino block...that was one of mom's leftover blocks from a project she made for me...when I was 3.  Just goes to show I have always had strange taste.  Dinos for life! 

Trekkies Need Quilts Too

While I was out at Craft Warehouse just yutzing around, I found some Star Trek fabric, and I thought I'd buy some to stash away for John.  Now, I'm going to preface this by saying I am not a big Trekkie.  I haven't watched Star Trek habitually since I was 7, and other than that I've just seen the last couple movies that have come out. Anyway, this fabric I guess shows the Shatner era Enterprise flying through space. 

 Somewhere someone on that fabric is overacting.

I got only a yard of it, thinking maybe John would want a quick and easy pillowcase to surprise him when he got back from the Douglas Complex.  Because I get too stoked about it when I make stuff for people, I told him about the fabric I found and asked him what he wanted from it.  Of course, he didn't want a pillowcase, he wanted a full on quilt. 

Lucky for him and unfortunately for me, he is one of the very few people I cannot say "no" to.  So, a Star Trek quilt it is.

The problem was, I only got a single yard of  a very directional print.  Sure, in space there is no up and down really, but uh, I think he would notice if there were Enterprises flying upside down. So, I decided to not cut it up and use it as one would a panel.  I know John would want this to be at least a lap size quilt to use while he's manning it up playing Call of Duty, so I had to make it bigger...which also means I made it simple because math and I? No.

While I am not a huge Trekkie, I do understand the concept of the shirts.  I knew of three shirts - red (you die), blue (spock) and yellow (Kirk) from the original series, but I needed a fourth color.  Thank God my family is family full of nerd because Mom pointed out that Kirk had a green shirt too. I'd hate to upset the Trekkies by improvising with a color not in the show.

Pretty stylin' there, Captain...

So. Four sides to a quilt, 4 shirts...I can make that work.  So I decide to put 4 insignia blocks in the quilt, one on each side and one in each shirt color. I looked up the original insignia and make my own applique. Easy peasy.

It needed borders around the insignias, and John said he wanted space fabric, but nothing too campy.  (Nothing campy?  Isn't the original Star Trek pretty campy anyway? C'mooooon man!) I needed way more yardage than I thought so of course the perfect space fabric I had in my stash was short by half a yard.  Thank God there's no quilt police to arrest me for mixing cotton and flannel because that's exactly what I had to do.  I used a space print flannel that looked reasonably realistic and it turned out pretty nicely. 

Oooh. Ahhh.  (He better say)


It is simple but I know he'll like it.  It turned out a decent size too, about 70" x 70". All that is left to do now is pick a backing and get it quilted!