Ripping out stitches builds character...and also rage.

I really, REALLY need to learn to pay more attention to things when I'm sewing and not be so danged persnickety. Yeah, yeah, I know...easier said than done.

So I'm doing a quilt from a pattern called "Wednesday" (I can't find a picture of it for you but I assure you it's super cute), which is meant to showcase a large-scale print. Clearly I had to do this in Halloween...I mean, hey, even the pattern called for Halloween fabrics. You know I'm more than happy to oblige :-)

So I'm using Alexander Henry's line, The Ghastlies to make it all up. I LOVE that fabric.. That little girl with the hammer just cracks me up. But the quilt I'm doing (pictures up soon, once I rip it all out...ugh) is gray, pink, black and green. It sounds odd for Halloween, I know, but click on the link and you'll see why!

Aaaaanyway, so last night I'm just stitching away and I'm putting everything together and I realize "&*%#! The center strip is too big in a weird way!" So I'm sitting there pinning like a madwoman trying to force this pice to fit with the two  large upper and lower blocks lining up in the center of the middle block in the strip. Well sta-hoo-pid me, they weren't supposed to, and I realized this AFTER pinning, sewing and assembling the quilt to the point of having the last border halfway on.

Damn. It. Damn it. Dammit.

So, erroneously thinking I'd have a completed quilt top this afternoon to give to Frances to quilt for me, I will instead be spending my afternoon ripping out multiple looooong seams and finishing it tonight. Oh, and did I mention I cut the long sides for last border from my [very directional] border fabric last night out twice, so now I don't have enough to do the short sides without getting more fabric?

You know, perhaps I shouldn't be quilting and watching Gangland at the same time late at night. lol. Ah well, I see this as a good, patience building exercise (albeit a frustrating one!)

'Tis the Season to be SPOOKY

My blog has been neglected these past 2 weeks. I have no excuse. Can I just get away with it for a slap on the wrist?

So, it's July and you know what that means...I'm gearing up for Halloween! For those of you that don't know me, and who have ignored to title and design of this blog, to say that I'm a Halloween freak is somewhat of an understatement. I LOVE IT. Real bad. Yeah, as much as I love Christmas (and, oh, I do) I have to say I love Halloween more.

"Trick or Treat, Trick or Treat, Trick or Treat for Halloween!" I'm almost 24 and I STILL love this cartoon as much as when I was almost 6. I love that little witch! I feel like her at the beginning, dancing around on Halloween! :D

Be that as it may, the other afternoon, we got our Halloween patterns in, and knowing full well that I'd freak right out about it, Mom showed me Booville:

It's so cute I'm gonna DIE!

How stinkin' adorable is that?!?! I love it and naturally, that means I have to do the sample for the shop. Ow, ow, twist my arm, right? lol. So I have my fabrics and everything picked out and now I'm beginning the process. I have 3.5 chunks done: The Punkins house, the square-in-a-square row, the "Trick or Treat" block and I'm about halfway through appliqueing the graveyard together.

Punkins House. Well, it will be. The sign is suppose to say "Punkins." The Grammar Nazi in me will probably change that to "Pumpkins."

"...for Halloween!" Hehe. The blanket stitch here was a pain in the butt. Turned out cute though!

This is the graveyard block in progress. Holy ishballs, Batman, it's a lot of teeny curves and points. The way I see it is at least I'm getting practice on my machine blanket stitch between this and the lettering...

I can't wait to get the rest done!!

Top 5 Techniques that Look like Fun (but I haven't tried yet...)

I've said it before and I'll say it again...I'm hopeless addicted to the wild, weird world of quilting. Heck, if that's not apparent all ready, then perhaps I've been understating things (though, really not something I'll ever be accused of doing...ask my family/friends, I'm a spaz!). So while I've been piecing and appliqueing and quilting to my little heart's content, I've seen some other techniques that I really want to try...but haven't (yet). So, here they are (in no particular order of course):

Top 5 Techniques that Look like Fun (but I haven't tried yet...)

5. English Paper Piecing
I've all ready tried regular paper piecing, but this English Paper Piecing thing keeps rearing its head. Every now and then at the shop, someone will come in looking for english paper piecing supplies, and as a matter of fact, yesterday Loretta Orsborn was in our shop teaching a class, and she showed Mom and I an English Paper Piecing project she was working on and let me tell 'ya....it was cool! It made me want to try it, maybe not on the larger scale she was doing it at, but maybe a wall hanging? For a hand-sewing method, a wall hanging is probably all my attention span can handle. But it looks like a really simple technique and I really love how precise it is without seeming to be overly complicated. It looks like the prep actually takes the longest!



4. Ice Dyeing
I flipped right out when I saw this...you can dye your own fabric, pretty much mess free if you do it correctly, with the ice cubes in your freezer and powder dyes. What the heck?! I love the results! It's similar to tye-dye but without being overly ... tye-dye-ish, if that makes sense. This is a lot less planned. With tie-dye, you can make certain designs based on how to fold or twist the fabric and tie with rubber bands, and you apply the color directly where you want it - with the exception of the twist of the fabric, you pretty much know where the colors will be and how they will interact (since the dye is liquid, you see how it'll blend right away). With Ice Dyeing, the dye is a powder and rests on top of the fabric and dissolves and falls where it will as the ice melts - you can kind of guess where you want a particular color to be but ultimately it just goes where it goes and there is no "planned" pattern to it. It doesn't lend itself to the twisting and tying that tie-die does, because you need the looser folds to allow the powder the seep through.  I couldn't find a video tutorial for this, but if you click on the "Ice Dyeing" link, that is the best tutorial I have seen for it.


3. Hand Embroidery
Okay, so this one isn't ENTIRELY true. I have tried it. All I've done is a back stitch and an absolutely pathetic stem stitch (gotta work on that!). But have a looksie at the above link and check out these video tutes...how flippin' cool?! Embroidery is always a nice touch when embellishing a quilt - it can be whatever you want it to be and while it can look very modern with clean lines, it gives just a hint of the traditional which is really quite nice. I think the coolest part about embroidery is the fact that it has been done for literally thousands of years - we do it now, the Victorians did it, the ancient Chinese and ancient Egyptians did it, the medieval cultures did it and there is even evidence that early man had the ability to do it as well. Plus, there is no denying that hand embroidery can be absolutely elegant or wonderfully simple, so it caters to all skill levels.

4. Set-In Seams
Fine, fine. This one isn't all the way true either. I've tried this and you should have heard the fit I had. This is just the most ridiculous thing, it really is (okay, fine, so I'm still a little bitter). Set-In seams and Y-seams are pretty much the same thing far as I can tell, and using this technique can yield some pretty incredible results.. The thing I want to do with this, actually, is my mother's specialty - the Lone Star Quilt. She can practically do these in her sleep, Set-In Seams and all and have it turn out practically perfect. It comes with experience (and *groan* paaaaatience) I think. I'me working on the experience thing, but I think the patience with myself and with my projects is something that I'll forever lack. Anyway, maybe once my bitterness and rage (Hyperbolic much? Geez.) subside with these stupid seams I'll give it another go and make a sweet Lone Star!

5. Reverse Applique
Oh my goodness, have you ever seen a quilt all done up using this technique? It can range from cutesy to complicated and can be used as the focus technique or as embellishment. No matter which way you cut it, it's neat! I remember in Miss Parker's 7th grade art class, we had to do this technique using paper and an X-Acto knife to emulate (what is probably the most famous example of reverse applique) the Molas made by the Kuna people of Panama and Colombia. Their work is absolutely amazing. It's bright, it's intricate ...often imitated but never equalled. Aside from the Molas, this is just a funt hing to try and I think I (eventually) will!

I thought I'd share this because I think it's the coolest thing ever

This is a portion of my Stats page for this blog. It basically tells me how many pageviews per day I get and what country they're from, how many views per hour blah blah blah. Anyway, this is my rundown by country:

That is the coolest! People from far away are looking at my piddly little blog. Obviously most of my views are from the US, because, well, I'm in the US. But in 6 months, I think that's pretty awesome.

So hello to my readers from all over the world! Thank you for stopping by and I hope you liked what you saw and that you'll be back for more :-)

Happy 2 Years to The Cotton Patch

It's amazing how time flies. It feels like just yesterday we took over the shop and then I blinked my eyes and here we are, 2 years later and going stronger than ever before. I know for Mom it's gone even faster.

I remember growing up Mom read me a page out of her teenage diary. No juicy gossip of course, but what she read me still resounds in my head and heart knowing what the past was and what the present is. In her entry she was laying out her life goals and in that goal plan was "own a fabric store." Now, this was well before she started quilting, but she's had a lifelong love for sewing and fabric. Knowing that, and all the time I spent watching her sew when I was growing up, and all the effort she's put forth in her own quilting...all of it just makes me extremely, extremely proud of her.

I remember a few years ago I was driving over on Edgewater in West Salem, back when you could still talk on your cell phone and drive at the same time without getting fined, and she called me, practically shouting into the phone. Mom has an inexplicable and science defying way of just falling into jobs. She won't be looking for one, but the perfect one always manages to fall right into her lap. At first I thought something was wrong, but after a few seconds I realized that, holy cowabunga, she got a job at a quilt store - a place she's always wanted to work. What's more, is that she was friends with the owner too, and Judith just asked her out of the blue to work for her. How much more perfect could it have been?

Five years later, Mom owns the quilt shop. This really is her dream come to life. Sometimes we have these lifelong dreams that never come to pass, no matter how hard we strive to achieve them, or whether we do nothing at all, they just don't happen. It's not what is meant to be. I can't begin to say how happy I am and how proud I am of her that her dream has come to fruition and she gets to have that joy.

I also can't begin to say how blessed I feel to be able to be a part of the store and to have such amazing and positive people and things in my life. It's amazing how time flies, and how just 2 years can entirely change a person's life. I had tried to quilt before then, but it just never worked out. I got frustrated and I wasn't any good at all. But after 2 years, it has reawakened my passion for art and creation, a passion that years of criticism and negativity from people who no longer matter at schools I'm long gone from had tried and successfully extinguised. The last 2 years have changed my life entirely from not knowing what I want in my life and surrounding myself with largely neutral influences, to giving my life a strong focus, a rekindled fire and the happiness of having positive and joyous people in my life.

Last night we had a party to celebrate the 2 year anniversary of our family having The Cotton Patch. Mom thanked us all for all of our help, because without us, she couldn't have done it. Well, I want to thank YOU, Mom, for letting me have a part in your dream and for guiding me to a better place in my life. And thank you Dad, Debi, Carol, Barb, Myke, Linda, Bobbie, Karen and Renee for making it such a fun place to be.

Now, on to the pictures from last night! I know if I don't post them, certain people (MomandDebi) will have my head for keeping them all to myself!

Taco and margarita schmorgasboard!

L-R: Aunt Barb, Debi, Mom

What a view! and what GOREGOUS weather. Finally summer in Oregon!

I love being on their deck. It's so beautiful out there.

L-R: Debi, Carol, my roomate Lauren

Bahaha...caught Lauren mid-eat. Don't worry, she got me good later, just wait and see.

L-R: Aunt Barb, Mom

Man, you have to be SNEAKY to catch a picture of Dad, and dang it all he moved. Trying to get a picture of him is like trying to get a picture of the elusive Sasquatch.

Quilts and Margaritas: The Perfect Combination. And the umbrella is ADORABLE.

L-R: Mom and Carol. Anniversary gifts!

An organizer and stationary set! That will come in handy. Thank you Carol!

I think that's a card from Debi.

"Don't break the ties! If you break the ties that means you're going to have a baby." Note the look on Mom's face. Worry not, that only lasted for a second because naturally she quipped to me something sabout maybe I should break the ties so she can have some grandchildren all ready. *facepalm* Nice try, Mom.

See now if that had been break the ties for grandchildren she'd have chainsawed that off at this point. Thank God that's not true! And isn't it clever how Debi wrapped that? Fabric is the greatest. <3

Mackie is my homeboy. I love all the dogs, but I have a real soft spot for this little crosseyed Scottie!

A beautiful windchime from Debi! That's going to go perfectly in Mom's garden, I have a feeling!

Debi

L-R: Mom and Debi

Gah! I told you she got me. that would be me (L) with my face stuffed full of cupcake, mid humongous chew.

L-R: Debi and Aunt Barb

L-R: Mom and Carol.

L-R: Debi, Aunt Barb

L-R: Aunt Barb's head, me, Mom and Carol

Before Isa beats me up, here are the pictures of the finished quilts!

She wouldn't...I don't think...Hope not! lol. Seriously though, Isa helps keep me in line! I forget about projects and whatnot, and she reminds me to post what I need to post :-) This time I think I might be beating her to the punch.

Well, I didn't get pictures before they got put up on the wall, but hey, better late than never, right?

This is the Cocoa Cake Walk quilt from a few posts ago.

This is the Freshwater Quilt out of the Australian Quilter's Companion from a few more posts back.

I'm really happy with how both turned out. Anyway, this is a short one. I have more pictures from the quilt show back in April to post yet...but for now I'm just focusing on Graduation tomorrow. It's finally sunk in. I'm a freakin' college graduate. I have the hat and the tassel and the ugly robe and everything. Woo!

This was going to be a link on the Newsletter, but it's simply too good to not post in it's entirety here.

This is an article by Sew, Mama, Sew!, one of my very favorite quilting blogs. The original controversy over the Modern vs. Traditional quilting debate started with "The Dumbing Down of Quilting Parts 1-3 HERE, HERE and HERE by Sandi at Piecemeal Quilts and it definitely struck a chord with people, myself included.
I have a pretty strong opinion about this whole thing, and I'll keep my big mouth shut, save for that I think both sides make very valid points. Please do go to Sew, Mama, Sew! and to Piecemeal Quilts and have a look around their blogs. And if you choose to comment, please be kind to both!

This is Sew Mama Sew's response to Sandi's articles. I really like how she handled it, and I think she has some good things to say. I certainly don't think she's the be-all-to-end all as Sandi puts it, but I think her messages are good.

Weighing in on the Great Quilting Debate: Three Guiding Principles

I admit, I’m often oblivious to gossip. I follow as many blogs as I possible can. I tweet and do Facebook. Yet sometimes I miss things that are kind of obvious. I saw a firestorm of debate in the quilting community, but it wasn’t until recently that I traced the controversy to a mid-March blog post and realized that Sew,Mama,Sew! ignited the spark. Yowza!

My first job in social media.

I don’t want to go into it too much and try to address all the arguments and points of view (I can’t even begin to understand them all.) I don’t think that people should have to be nice and supportive and kind all the time and I do think there should be room for debate in the sewing community. But feelings have been hurt, some people are angry and I’m sure more than a few people feel gun-shy about what to say, what to share and what to post on their blogs. Because what we said started this debate, I feel a responsibility to chime in with my two cents. I thought I’d try to explain three principles in which I strongly believe.

One of my early quilts.

Principle 1: Sewing should be fun!
This ain’t Little House on the Prairie and none of us are Laura Ingalls. We don’t have to sew if we don’t want to. We can sew whatever we want as many times as we want in whatever fabric we want and we should be able to write about it, photograph it and talk about it without getting any flack. And if there are parts of sewing that aren’t fun, we don’t have to do it. Some people like piecing a quilt but hate the actual quilting so they send it off to someone else. Some people love  sewing, but are perfectly happy to let someone else pick out the fabric so they buy a kit. Some people don’t want to do any math or cutting, so they buy precuts. I think you should do whatever floats your boat. Me, I’m never tracing another pattern again. I do solemnly swear I will never judge you for NOT doing the parts of sewing that aren’t fun to you. (Go ahead, raise your hand and pledge with me.)

Taking the Sew-What-You-Want pledge while Mel Brooks looks on.

Principle 2: Learning requires a certain level of discomfort.
This is something one of my graduate school professors used to say and as a mother I think about it all the time. Learning to ride a bike is scary. Learning a new language is embarrassing and exhausting. Learning  guitar hurts! Learning Calculus makes you want to bang your head on a desk (OK, maybe that was just me.) As an educator I had to keep this in mind every day. When people are learning, they’re often not happy about it because they’re uncomfortable, but a tolerance for discomfort is required if you want to learn or master anything. (Which doesn’t in any way mean that it can’t also be fun.) The wonderful thing is that when you challenge yourself it leads to growth and mastery, which most people find deeply satisfying, which is why we keep doing it.

My first group of happy students.

The idea that learning and growth can be uncomfortable at times is where some of the recently frustrated and outspoken quilting bloggers and I can come together. One of the more positive and underlying messages of many of the controversial quilting posts is this:
STRETCH!
Stretch your skills.
Stretch your repertoire.
Stretch your definition of beautiful.
Leave your comfort zone and see where it takes you.
One thing I’ve been thinking a lot about lately (even before all of this started) is how Sew,Mama,Sew! needs to grow with our readers. We have always tried our best to make sewing fun and approachable to as many people as possible. I think we’ve done a pretty good job of encouraging and inspiring and involving people in the craft of sewing. But lately I’ve decided that we don’t really do enough to help people develop their skills. To stretch, grow and learn. We’re making it fun, but we’re not really making it challenging, so we’re going to try to do better. If (heavy emphasis on IF, because we still strongly believe in Priciple 1) you want to take your sewing skills to the next level, we’re going to do our best to offer you ideas, advice, inspiration and resources.

My sewing circle, aka The Sweet Hot Yams.

Principle 3: Sometimes people deserve a do-over.
I try to remember to practice this with my family as much as possible. People feel passionate about things and they get riled up. They say things that maybe they would phrase differently if they’d given themselves a little more time to work it out.  Or maybe they hadn’t anticipated the effect their words would have on others. Sometimes people deserve a chance to say what they mean in a different way.
And so, today I’m very happy to bring you an excellent post by Sandi Walton of Piecemeal Quilts. (We’ll call it the first in a series of Stretch Your Skills posts.) Sandi is an accomplished and passionate quilter. Sandi believes in STRETCH so she and her friend Jeanne of Grey Cat Quilts put their convictions into action and developed a collection of blog posts called the Skill Builder Series. So far they’ve covered 1/4″ seams, quilting tools, half square triangles and more. If you’re a beginning or intermediate quilter and you’re interested in improving your skills, I encourage you to check them out. Today Sandi taks about the importance of quilting in her life and offers some advice on learning foundational skills for piecing traditional blocks.
(OK, those photos aren’t really me. Images are in the public domain via The Library of Congress.)

Wait, what? It's June all ready?! Shut your mouth!

Indeed. June all ready. Where have the last 6 freakin' months gone? Just wondering because apparently I've been asleep, zoned out or something. ::blink::

So. Those of you that know me know that to say I'm a workaholic is a disgusting understatement. I always manage to get myself stretched six ways from Sunday and then wonder why I'm so dang tired all the time. Lets put this is perspective for a moment, and then determine my sanity (oh, and a preemptive shut up to the peanut gallery :D). I have a "for real" job, and a "fun job." My "for real" job is mornings and part time, my "fun job" is close to full time (not including work done outside). I have a house, dog, family and friends that sometimes want some of my attention - thankfully I don't have to add a boyfriend or husband to this. Up until December, add full time credit hours at University to this, too, and last January (2010) I had a THIRD job in the mix. I have a side project that I'm working on and pushing through the system, that's super exciting (to me) and eating a lot of time (and patience...not my strong suit!). I'm a workin' machine! Honestly though, this isn't a complaint whatsoever. I love it. I'm one of those weirdos that doesn't know what to do with herself when she has "free time." Heck, I can't even manage to sit and watch my WWE without having to do something else at the same time...cross stitch, applique, sew, Sudoku, whatever...

I'm not trying to toot my own horn here (even though that's definitely what it's looking like, I know) but in the last month, I finished 3 projects. Pretty darn good for me I'd say! I'm a notorious project starter but not finisher. I forget/get bored/get frustrated and leave it alone for a long time/run out of fabric *gasp* and just plain don't finish. I'll start 3 projects for one I don't finish. UFOs GALORE!

That being said, in the last WEEK AND A HALF I have picked up 4 new projects and I have 1 quilting job I need to do for someone. Luckily only the latter has a deadline...

-I've got a super cute fall table runner, which will be neat...it's got little appliqued pumpkins on it.
-There's that damn chicken quilt, which, by the way, the pattern was wrongity wrong and I'm 5 flippin' inches short on my last border. Thanks for nothing, pattern! *grumble*
- There's a 900+ piece quilt from the latest Australian Quilter's Companion I'm doing...still gathering black and whites for that though...it'll be cool when its all said and done but good LORD I don't want to piece all that nonsense /whine.
-As of yesterday I picked up a row quilt out of a Guatemalan border stripe. It'll be pretty rad looking because I fussy cut the buh-jeezus out of the stripe, but I gotta get some go-withs to fill it out.

All in all, looks like I'll be staying off the mean streets of Keizer (I can't say that with a straight face...bahahaha. Keizer's pretty calm except for this guy, who after seeing him on the news I'm pretty sure is the posterchild for bat-crap-crazy

(True Keizer Story. I'm not offended by the sign, I mean, hey, beauty of the First Amendment right there...it allows you to demonstrate to the rest of the street what a looney toon you are. What I find funny as all get out is the fact that he originally had the spelling of neighbor correct, then changed it to a misspelling. Yeah I know, of course that's what I would take away from it...a grammatical error)

Well, after that dose of crazy, I'll leave you with my hound, telling me with his big ol' bug eyes that he wants me to stop trying to bind the quilt...little Lord Fauntleroy over here wanted to lay on it instead, but I kept moving it as I was stitching...I forgot, who is it that owns who? :)



Men and Quilting

It really does bother me that when I Googled "Men in the Quilting Tradition," the first thing that popped up was "Quiling for the Men in your Life."

What I was really looking for was a blog I saw months ago, about a man who started quilting and started documenting his experience as a male quilter. I really enjoyed it, and I wish I had bookmarked it.

We need to start a movement to get these fellas quilting. I say that only half jokingly. Yes, quilting is a largely gender defined art...one of the handful swung in favor of women...but it doesn't have to be. Guys, you too can quilt, and the ones that do are damn good at it.

My absolute favorite quilter (aside from my momma, of course, because her designs are phenomenal...seriously) is a man - local quilter Anton Haas Jr.. His quilts are gorgeous and just so, so precise. He really is a gifted artist.

So when you have a minute, look up "Male Quilters" on Google. There are a few out there and they are blogging like madman.

One of the best feelings ever...

...is getting a quilt back from the quilter! My Australian Quilter's Companion Quilt from several posts back (you know, the one with the umbrella, fish and wild colors) came back from Frances and she did a phenomenal job! I'll post pictures soon...once I get it bound that is!

You're harshing my mellow, Broski.

So after Blogspot decided to "do maitenance" on its server (I think the proper term is "screwing ish up") it dropped my most recent entry. Isabelle, you're a witness! So let's try this again.

I made another quilt, blah blah blah, I didn't care for the original colors, blah blah blah, so I did it my way in lots of reds and oranges and gold with a spash of green.

It's AMAZING how easily I just summed up a 5 paragraph post. "Blah blh blah" has got to be my #1 favorite filler when I'm annoyed about something, which, I am VERY annoyed that the post got lost in who-knows-where of cyberspace.

So anyway, enough grumbling and grousing and whining. I got the pattern out of the book Fast, Flirty and Fun  by Sarah Bisel from That Patchwork Place, which we have available in the shop.

See? It's an adorable pattern, but those colors...I can appreciate them but they're just not my thing. So...of course I changed them.

This is MY color way. I gotta say, I'm very pleased with how it turned out. Most of you know I'm not too shy about color, and I know what I like. Even though purple, believe it or not, is my absolute favorite color...I heavily lean toward the reds, oranges, browns and golds. Actually, the quilt I'm about to finish (which I've had since January...) is also reds, golds, browns and oranges...I need to step outside my box and do a blue quilt.

Did you hear that? That crashing sound was the sound of my motivation coming to a grinding halt. I like blue all right, but I think I'll leave that to someone else.

As always, the hardest part was trying to be "random" with my color placement. I just don't think I have it in me! I'm too persnickety, too Sheldon-esque, too whatever. Ask my roomate...I had this quilt spread out all over the living room floor and I was asking her every 5 minutes if the color placement looked okay. It's like the people walking around who look like they just rolled out of bed...most of them spent an hour in front of the mirror with a blow dryer and a fistful of pomade to get that look. Don't ask me to do random. I can't. lol.

One of these days I'll invest in a nice camera, one that's not attached to my cell phone. Of course...my birthday IS coming up in September...*cough* :b Anyway, the green there isn't quite that bright. It's the dark green piece from Patrick Lose's Mixmasters line. I LOVE that fabric. I really do. Let's just be honest here...I just like Patrick Lose (not as much as Debi does though). But I think the African ladies are gorgeous, and I've been meaning to do a quilt with them in it for a while...cultural stereotypes be damned!

Someone stop me before I put myself in stitches!

Hehe, well, if you can't laugh at yourself, well then, what are we doing here?

Anyway, cheesy joke and puns aside, for the whopping ZERO anythings I did in April, I'm making up for it in May...right? I'd like to think so! I finished another project and I have to admit, I'm really happy with how it turned out. It needs a little lot of squaring up, but I think when it's all said and done it's going to be a neat, ample sized wall hanging.

The original pattern is this:

I mean, it's cute, right? The display picture knew the way to my heart - it had a big ol' chocolate cake on it. I knew I had to make it! It was a match made in my stomach. But I looked at the colors it was asking for, and I looked at the picture and it's so sweet, so darling, so pretty...and so not me at all. to me, the colors are very nice but pretty blah. So I put the ol' Lauren spin on it. Because that's what I'm calling it.

Reds, oranges, golds...are you seeing a trend here? lol. Who'da thunk that my favorite color is purple, because I sure don't use it a whole lot. But this time I thought to put a zing-a-roonie of green in there. It's in the African ladies fabric, and quite honestly, I reaallllllllly love that border fabric and I'll pretty much take any excuse I can to use it in whatever I can.

As usual, the random color choosing was difficult (ask my roomate, I had all 54 pieces spread all over the living room floor, and I kept interrupting The Daily Show to ask her opinion on color placement) but it happened. I'm not too thrilled with that coin-gold in there once I got it in, but there's nooooo way in hell I'm going to take it all apart and replace it. So. I'm just ignoring it and letting the green take over.

This picture is not so great, but the lighting wasn't either. One of these days I have to invest in a for real, no joke camera. My birthday is in September...hmmm ;) Anyway, the green is quite a bit darker than shown here, but the point is the African ladies. Aren't they beautiful? I love this fabric. Considering my Anthropological background (God, it sounds pretentious doesn't it? I hate saying stuff like that but for this it's just what it is)  and the fact that my advisor was legitimately African, cultural stereotypes like this in art set me a little on edge but not enough to stop enjoying them or using them in my quilts. So, hoity-toity academia...I just got 2 words for ya :)

So I have a new quilt in the works and one more that all it needs are its dang borders (I know, I'm slacking in a mjor way on that quilt...I've had it since what, January?)...the latter, guess what, is in oranges and reds and browns and golds...Someone stop me! I need to do a blue quilt or something. Just the thought of that though completely un-motivates me. The new one is black and red and orange and yellow and purple and blue...but I'm really stepping out of my box and the focal fabric has bright, big ol' chickens on it. Seriously. I don't like chickens in decor. No offense to those of you who appreciate the occasional non-edible chicken in the kitchen but it's seriously not at all my thing. So, at least I'm branching out there!

It's Second Saturday this weekend, so the store will be a madhouse. But it's a new Block of the Month, so it should be fun! Hope to see some of y'all there :D



Why yes, I DO know better. But that, my friends, doesn't mean diddly.

So yeah. My machine hates me. Which, by "my machine hates me," I actually mean I totally screwed it up myself. User error.

I know better than to sew over pins, which is why I always take them out before my needle goes over them. who am I kidding? I don't. I leave them there...like most imperfect quilters (is there such a thing as a perfect quilter? Ooh, quilting existentialism). But in the back of my brain I know that there is a risk of breaking a needle or the pin if the the needle actually hitis the pin. apparently it's way back there in the back.

To the untrained eye, it looks like I'm being a diligent machine owner and cleaning my machine after using it. Yeah, that beast gets duuuuusty. I wish I could say that this is why I have got everything dismantled. Alas, I ran over a pin and the unexpected happened....

See that? Yeah, the pin didn't break like one would expect it to, and nor did the needle....The damn thing sucked itself into the feed dogs and got itself crimped and stuck therein. You should have heard the noise. It was ugly. I think my roomate dang near jumped out of her skin, because there she was minding her own business, watching Futurama, and KA-CHING-CRUNCH - pin, meet feed dogs, they want to devour you.

So what is the moral of this story? You probably shouldn't run over your pins. Will I run over my pins again/still? You betcha. But I will change my needle and watch things a little more closely.

Somewhere out in the wild and weird world of the interwebs, there's a Quilt Police Officer taking down my number so they can smack me upside the head with a ruler. 

Just a thought.

I want to make a Charlie Sheen quote themed quilt. I really do. His nonsense is my latest addiction. In all honesty, I'm not laughing about his mental illness - this guy needs help in a very serious way - but the words that come out his mouth...I swear...

Adorable baby sloths quote Charlie Sheen. Click it. It's funny.


I could see something like that getting turned into an embroidered wall hanging. Definitely not a mainstream pattern...

Whoever said "Laughter is the Best Medicine" obviously wasn't a quilter.

It's true. Whoever said that clearly never had the experience of coming home from shopping, after only 4 things out of 50 fit correctly, after seeing themselves in their underoos (in the aaaaalways flattering fluorescent dressing room light), and wanting to just bawl and save up for liposuction. Clearly.

That was pretty much my afternoon. I had a great time going shopping and doing lunch with Mom (girls' day out is the best!), but I left feeling like total crap about myself, my body and completely discouraged that I simply can't find anything to fit my weird shape right. Ah the joys of modern womanhood, right? Thanks a lot, media!

So I went home and "kind of cleaned" in preparation for the Direct TV installer to come today to install my shiny new TV service. Normally, if it were friends coming over, that place would be so clean it would sparkle but since it's an installation person I'll probably never see again....I really half a$$ed it. Screw it. I can't be bothered to care that much, let him judge away at my mountains of scraps and fusible and half fused/half finshed pieces...They see me stitchin', they hatin'...haha

But nothing makes my spirit feel better than to just say F@ck it and work on a project I'm happy with. I'll come back in and put pictures of of what exactly it looks like, but I'm working on a mermaid project for the shop, and it is COMPLETELY different from the pattern. The quilt is actually done by a company called "Hand to Heart" (Maybe it's "Heart to Hand?") which regardless of the order of the name, primarily does primitive style patterns. The mermaid is pretty primitive  too. That id definitely not my style..no siree... so of course I changed up the color and took a few elements out to make it more my style. I told you I'm a notorious pattern tinker-er! Those huge pink cheeks drawn on her face just weren't working for me...amd I'm sorry, but a mermaid with brown hair? No, no...it's either got to be Ariel red or bright purple!! Guess which mine is? Haha! But anyway....I got her fused together, now I just have to plop her down on her background and get the borders figured out. I. CAN. NOT. WAIT. TO. QUILT. THIS. Her tiara is going to look so awesome!!

Knowing that my creative juices were flowing and my eye is getting more and more in-tune with thinking about where in a quilt some really b!tchin' free motion would fit in and make it pop made me feel tons better about not being able to squeeze my chunky butt into the clothes I was hoping it would. :-)